the boy.

My daughter is fourteen now; how time does fly by. Eighth grade has been good for us both. We have had our issues, (who doesn’t?), but overall we have grown closer. One of her best friends changed schools at semester, which was very difficult for the both of them. Two new girls have transferred to her school since then, but the loss remains. The most important change in the new year has been the boy.

The boy has a name, of course, but between the two of us he is just ‘boy.’ He has done enough to earn my respectful use of his name in person. He is a year younger, currently shorter, and much further down on the maturity scale, all of which is no surprise. He attends the school that her friend transferred to at semester; having her friend there is helpful, but attending different schools is difficult. He is also very bright and much smarter than my kiddo; she sometimes feels insufficient or self conscious about what she says.

I know that the boy doesn’t make her feel bad about her blondness; if he did, I would be in trouble for attacking a minor child. He has a large family, an older sister and three younger siblings. They attend a good church and he seems to be secure in the Lord. Overall, I approve of the boy.

At this very minute they are at a girly movie; so girly that I didn’t even want to see it. At first he said no when asked to go, but gave in as a good boyfriend should. I told her to give him extra boyfriend points for going to this particular movie, with four of her girl friends. There was a time when she was testing him, playing games and such via text to see if he would get so annoyed as to call her on it. I told her she was playing with fire and shouldn’t do things like that, especially since she is so very self-conscious about the relationship.

I am not sure how it happened but I have raised a girl that has very low self-esteem. I know it has a lot to do with the absence of her father and any male role models in her life. I have dropped the ball somewhere and it breaks my heart. I hate to hear her talk poorly about herself. She is very lovely; we have always known she would grow to be a beauty. I know she could lose a few pounds, but we do not obsess about it. We focus on eating healthy and living healthy. Sometimes I wish she could see herself as I see her, or even how the boy sees her. He loves her just the way she is.

A first love at fourteen? Maybe. I kinda hope so. He’s a good guy and I hope and pray things go well for them for a good long time.