You have three magic genie wishes, what are you asking for?
—Questioner
1. Peace on earth.
2. All basic living requirements (house/food/minimum stipend) are universally met for everyone.
3. Three more wishes… 😉
{pain} 15/10 {sleep}
👂 My left ear hurts so very much. My doctor is out all week, so I am going to the walk-in clinic tomorrow. I hurt so very much my thoughts are not clear & I was incapable of getting up & around today.
☝🏻 [If this is your first time reading my blog, I am a disabled, single mom… I battle fibromyalgia, trigeminal neuralgia, degenerative disc disease (with a C4-C7 fusion), diabetes, & asthma on the daily.]
🐈⬛ Lady Diana was attempting to comfort me earlier, which I appreciate. The only issue is my asthma, so when I wake up because I cannot breathe – only to discover she is snuggled up laying beneath my neck, I can only move her gently, & thank her kindly.
Certainly, you have had a better day than I? Tell me all about it… seriously. It would help me pass the time.
Talk Soon,
Cecelia✌🏻🌊☕️
{pain} 3 {sleep} 5h 7m // woke at 2:30a because my damned cat is “transitioning” before we fall back an hour. Seriously, she is slowly moving back an hour & once the clocks change, she will be waking me at the same time… literally.
🐈⬛ My cat does not abide by Daylight Savings Time; memories of life in Phoenix, where they ignore DST, is giving me all warm fuzzies inside.
🎉 Happy Birthday to Rœgn’s Dad, Mateo, today… & to my bestie, Mazzerella, from 8th grade… and to everyone else born today (my Scorpio kindred).
👉🏻Curiously, I have lost a couple days. Fairly certain I have an ear infection, which is becoming increasingly painful. We were supposed to go to Rocky Horror Picture Show last night, but we did not. Rœ went to see FNAF (she said it was awesome) with friends, I couldn’t complain.
We usually find ourselves at some sort of concert right around this time… not on purpose, at least not up until this year. I wanted to have RHPS be that performance this year & am a little upset with myself for not making that happen. (Maybe I deserve the ear pain 🤦♀️)
I just want to sleep all day.
Talk Soon,
Cecelia ✌🏻🌊☕️
What food would you say is your specialty?
—Questioner
Though I am capable of other dishes… this is my favourite & what I have been known for at Pot Luck’s for decades.
Flashbulb Memory: Exceptionally clear memories of emotionally significant events are called flashbulb memories. They’re called so because they are typically very vivid and detailed, much like a photograph, and often pertain to surprising, consequential, and emotionally arousing events, such as hearing about a national tragedy or experiencing a personal milestone.
Ayesh Perera
The top two “flashbulb’s” in my life have been the Oklahoma City bombing & 9/11 – both moments are solidified in my memory so completely I can describe them wholly, without fail; but more on those in a bit.
• When I think back to the earliest historical event that I honestly remember, it must be the destruction of the Berlin Wall, as it was on the news for days. A friend of our family, & my Ma’s old boss, had a piece of the wall in his office; it was my favourite thing to fiddle with – you could see the spray paint.
• The brutal beating of Rodney King – I remember the “Breaking News” on Fox (don’t judge me, they were freakin’ cool when they first began). I didn’t understand what was happening, why it was happening, or even how I should feel about it for days. We talked about it in school, ‘officially’ with the teachers, and off by ourselves at lunch & recess.
• Desert Storm & Desert Shield introduced me to Colin Powell, one of the few Republican leaders I admired. I also learned to hate night vision & how often we were shown missiles & active war on the morning/afternoon/& evening news.
• Bill Clinton was in office when I first began paying attention to politics, thanks to Channel One – with Lisa Ling & Anderson Cooper (who went gray very young). They covered Bill Clinton like he was a rock star & I mean that literally – we watched (then candidate) Clinton playing his saxophone on The Arsenio Hall Show.
🎷It wouldn’t be long before the ‘sex-o-phone’ & cigar jokes would be all over the place.
• 1992 Summer Olympics in Barcelona, Spain, were broadcast pretty much 24/7. I remember sleeping in the living room, on a fold out couch bed, but not really sleeping at all. That was the year of the first Dream Team; Women’s Gymnastics included Shannon Miller (from Oklahoma), Dominique Dawes, & Kerri Strug; Track & Field included Carl Lewis, Jackie Joyner-Kearsey, Gayle Devers, & Gwen Torrence, amongst others; & it was the summer of Summer Sanders & Matt Biondi in swimming. It was the final year for Stephen Timmons in Men’s Volleyball, they & the women got bronze, which was nice.
I could go on and on… I fell in love with so many of our Olympians that year, often at 3am – watching live, knowing it would be rebroadcast later in the day.
• Someone teased me about having relatives in Oklahoma (City) the morning of April 19th, 1995. I was walking through the hallway during ‘2nd hour’ – and I heard many TVs in the classrooms begin to turn on as a message went out to all the teachers. At that time no one knew what happened, we were in SW Missouri, about 4 hours from OKC. I passed by my Earth Science classroom when someone called out to me, asking if I had family in Oklahoma City. I said, “yeah, why?” And that little twat said something to the effect of, ‘well, they may have been blown up today’. 👀
• I remember everyone being freaked about Y2K, only to learn they were off by a year.
• The recount in the 2000 election, which I believe is when we skewed into this fatal timeline… can you imagine what life would be like if Al Gore had been elected president? We could have led the world in sustainable energy, but no! (snap💥)
• Then there was September 11th, 2001. After finishing my graveyard shift at a hotel, I went to my Aunt Vicki’s ranch in order to use her computer, & more important, her internet. (Life was very different back then, people). I went there each morning to email my boyfriend who lived in Phoenix, Arizona. The news was on & focused on the Towers… my Aunt told me about the first plane & I laughed. Please don’t misunderstand, I was horrified at the loss of life, but right around that time there were a few pilots that had been caught ‘flying while intoxicated’ & there are THREE major airports entirely too close together around NYC. I thought it was only a matter of time before some idiot had too much to drink over a meal & the worst would happen… much like everyone else in the world, I didn’t know what was happening.
I called my boyfriend, only later realizing I was lucky to get through. I remember specifically saying, “Nine-eleven, nine one one. We will remember this forever.” He & I traveled a month later – whoa how air travel changed; we were so free & naive before 9/11.
💃🏼 Life was a big blur in my 20s up until I had Rœgn; 🫷🏻parenting can get in the way of any good social life. I actively ignored the war in Iraq & Afghanistan, outside of events like Pat Tillman dying by friendly fire, & my family who were deployed. I also actively ignored everyone who said Pluto was not a planet.
• Hurricane Katrina – Rœ was about 8 months old & it was horrifying watching the news. I remember crying after seeing dead people & hearing about the death & dying in the Super Dome. Katrina was the first hurricane I really remember.
• I can recall voting for Barak Obama & celebrating when he won.
• We celebrated in 2015 when same-sex marriage was finally legalized.
• We then protested in 2016 because we backslid into a tRump presidency. I then actively ignored the stupid sh*te show that was our government for years.
• I was pleased with the #MeToo movement and eventually displeased with it as well (when innocent men were targeted).
• I was optimistic with the Mueller Report and eventually let down by the eventual decisions.
• We quarantined, watching as our leaders handled a worldwide pandemic as if it were a science project (TFG asking if we could disinfect the blood with bleach, or just a strong UV light). As the death toll went up, we continued to do our part.
• Insurrection. We were at the ranch, home of my tRumplican Aunt & Uncle.
We left early due to political tension following J6.
👉🏻I will be honest, it took the Supreme Court repealing Roe v. Wade to wake me up. Since that time I have paid much closer attention to politics in our country & around the world. The march toward authoritarianism is a battle being waged all over the world, not just in the US, and we must pay attention to the world as a result.
You may not be interested in politics, but there are people (politicians, corporations, etc.) who are using politics to take away our rights. We knew then & they have only proven that “they won’t stop at Roe”… they want all of our rights.
What’s the biggest risk you’d like to take — but haven’t been able to?
—Questioner
Nearly a year ago I said that we would be out of this house by Christmas 2023…
However, the struggle to purchase a vehicle, sell/donate/toss most of our possessions, & create the podcast & peer counseling network has been quite aggravating.
📍All of that is merely a prelude to the actual risk, moving. In today’s economy, with the cost of living CRISIS, finding a new city/state/area, in which we can afford to live is a tricky prospect (not to mention doing it without a vehicle).
👉🏻It is also quite stressful.
I want to write more, but I am in so very much pain today… I must needs go away to suffer in peace.
🗣️Talk Soon,
Cecelia ✌🏻🌊☕️
What are you most proud of in your life?
—Questioner
👉🏻I do love it when you launch a softball question on a Monday…
🧚🏻Her name is Rœgn R.Æ.D.… my best friend, my greatest joy & my greatest stress – my daughter. The Lord G-d has used her to change my life so many times … known as “Smalls” since birth, she outgrew me in height & continues to evolve in character and experience. Rœ possesses a genuine wit & humour that will catch you off guard at times, which makes it all the more hilarious. My Babygirl is much more intelligent than she gives herself credit for; clever, facetious, & quite informed on certain subjects (i.e. odd facts from my childhood 🙄; 5SOS – her favourite band, general political issues, etc.).
🫶🏻Every moment of my life since 1:21p on 18 January 2005 has been spent loving my remarkable daughter who continues to delight & frustrate me daily. 💕 Rœgn is certainly what I am most proud of in my life; being a single mom is difficult.
🗣️Talk Soon,
Cecelia✌🏻🌊☕️
What have you been working on?
—Questioner
Dear Questioner, here you are yet again asking the very thing that I must needs answer and what Rœgn & I have been discussing this very day!
Articles in Progress:
· An Unpopular Opinion on Snow White
· Environmental Stewardship: Understanding Our Biblical Responsibility for the Earth.
· Jesus Was A Socialist …bet.
· /Inspire Change &/or End Racism/: Blatant Hypocrisy of the NFL in Florida, Texas, & Tennessee. [working title]
Podcast Under Construction:
sustain.able.future – Curiously Keeping Calm & Carrying On
Creating a sustainable community, being kind on purpose, supporting mental health – building a better future through the following:
• Nutrition – following our personal journeys – undoing 40+ years of brainwashing & beginning at the beginning.
• Balance in Work, Home, Social, & Personal Lives
• Physical & Spiritual Wellness
• Curiosity – Curiouser et Curiouser – a pod about actively learning something new every day.
• Boundaries & Accountability – in our personal lives & in community building.
• La Bonne Nouvelle – The Good News.
• Tempêter, a RantCast – & a few other ideas rumbling around.
👉🏻Is there anything you’d like us to focus on specifically? We are always taking requests!
👋🏻 Hope you’re having a lovely day!
🗣️Talk Soon,
Cecelia✌🏻 🌊 ☕️
What makes a good neighbor?
—Questioner
Ooh… this is a fantastic question! My thoughts on this have evolved over time as my location & family have changed.
My earliest solid memories of my neighborhood is when we lived at 3163 West Sunnyside Avenue in Phoenix, Arizona, during my elementary & middle school years. My neighborhood was quite lovely; my nearest neighbors had children my age, which was the best fun. The woman to our right had a daycare, so I went there the first year we lived there for after school care.
I walked to & from school, had an in-ground pool that I swam in morning & night, rode my bike everywhere, played basketball with friends, watched baseball at the field down the street, & played ‘mudball’ (semi-tackle football) during the monsoon month in that same field. However, I don’t think my parents knew the names of most of our neighbors, simply because they worked so much.
We moved to Shawnee, OK, for a year before landing in Monett, Missouri, for my high school years. I will address my Meemaw’s home later (Shawnee), skipping to southwest Missouri where we lived in a cottage style house that my uncle Tony owned. It was an ugly green that is impossible to describe properly due to the fading; the floor sagged to the center, which meant I couldn’t shut my bedroom door (which led straight into the living room. Apologies for the nostalgic digression…
I didn’t really know my neighbors, but they knew me. I was involved in speech & debate, band, color guard, which meant that I was in the paper quite a bit (small town). Everyone thought they knew me, so they all waved & what not, but never really talked to me; I became more private with my personal life as a result of that while living there. One of my best friends lived a few houses down, which was great; he would come over late & we would watch Cartoon Network until 1 or 2am then off to school at 6:30a for band…
When we lived at my Meemaw’s house, I loved our neighbors. They were all nosy & sweet… by that I mean, they always knew what was going on in the hood, wouldn’t get all up in your business, but would call the cops if needed. For example, the little old lady who lived across the street my entire life once stopped a burglary happening in my neighbors house, when my daughter & I were having dinner.
In America we have a strange idea about being “neighborly”… often it comes down to waving & waving back, offer tools if needed, the occasional chat & a Christmas card. We like to have our own area & many of us want you to keep the hell off our lawn & away from our home, something that social media has only exacerbated in the worst ways. COVID did not help with this at all, since we were required to stay away from each other.
Now I believe in a different way of life… where the definition of ‘neighbor’ is much more community based. I want to help create a solarpunk city. I believe in sustainability, living with the land – not destroying it, & limiting the ‘fake’ (i.e. plastic) in our lives.
Anyhow, I believe in helping one another & that the best definition of being a good neighbor was given by Jesus & Mr. Rogers. Pay it forward & be kind.
Talk Soon,
Cecelia✌🏻🌊☕️
What could you try for the first time?
—Questioner
So many things, dear Questioner!!! This is why I always say, ‘Stay Curious’ & learn something new every day! We are attempting to set up a podcast – which is definitely a first for me. My daughter Rœgn & I are doing our best to get it started right now – finances are a difficulty, but we will persist!
👉🏻Here is a brutal honest, ‘staring myself in the face’, type of answer: “Living by a strict budget bc the world is going to sh*te & we need to prepare.” Truth is, I have never been able to keep to a strict budget. There is a desperate battle in my home over money, i.e. where we spend our money, saving money (which is seemingly impossible), being more responsible over all. Usually, my daughter is on the other side of this conflict.
It’s late now (after having put off doing this all day) … I hope you didn’t have a Twomonday like me.
Talk Soon,
Cecelia ✌🏻 🌊 ☕️
What principles define how you live?
—Questioner
Love G-d in all you do.
Actively love your family & friends, daily.
Pay it forward whenever possible.
Brutal honesty is best.
Be grateful every day.
Be humble & kind.
Keep calm & carry on.
Stay Curious!
What have you been putting off doing? Why?
—Questioner
👉🏻Purchasing a vehicle… because of inflation & the rising interest rates.
Apologies for the basic, honest, (boring) answer. ✌🏻🌊☕️
When was the first time you really felt like a grown up (if ever)?
—Questioner
The first time I had my family (mom, step-dad, aunt, Meemaw, etc.) to our townhouse… I said, “Welcome to my home” just outside the door.
My family then corrected me, as I was in a relationship at the time with Rœ’s father – “Welcome to our home”. It was a lovely townhouse in the center of Tulsa, Oklahoma, in the busiest area of the city (save for downtown). I had put a lot of time & not a little money into decorating our home. This was in the early 2000s, before I became a mother… we were making good money & spending it unwisely, per usual for most in their early 20s. (If that wasn’t you, good form! Your parents prepared you well; you should thank them!!)
My daughter was created in that townhouse, but never lived there. We decided to move into my parent’s house to save money. (They were truck driver’s and were rarely home). But that moment, when I said, “Welcome to my home” I truly meant “my home”… I had done all the decorating, Matt had very little to do with it. I felt that I was finally growing up & getting my shite together, simply bc I was making decent money. Truth is, we were paying too much for the townhouse; we paid too much for the furniture; we paid too much for food & our dining habits… & don’t get me started on our “entertainment”.
Rœgn’s dad & I would often go to the museums; Philbrook was our favourite, but Gilcrease was always free & had a lovely garden. (See above, the Wisteria is amazing!) We were quite cosmopolitan for living in Oklahoma, which is one reason I have always appreciated Tulsa. It is quite a different city from Oklahoma City, which is the only other “big” city in the state. We enjoyed the theatre, opera, symphony, etc., all of which you can do in OKC, we just did it better. 😆 Our lifestyle certainly helped me feel “all grown up” even though when I look back I cannot believe I made it out of my 20s!
👉🏻I can look back on the moment I introduced my family to my new home as when I truly felt “grown up”. Now, I just want to be grateful for every moment, whether I act my age or not.
Talk Soon,
Cecelia ✌🏻🌊☕️
Now, dear Questioner, I know you’re not listening in on my thoughts, prayers, & conversations, primarily because everyone in our country have probably discussed this very thing – with the most recent power ball at nearly 2 Billion {- with a B -}!!! One person won that – one single person.
👉🏻 I would set up a sustainable community for people dealing with homelessness &/or addiction. Or maybe create a cannabis company that would then fund that sustainable community… increase education & make certain people have more opportunities to do the right thing for our earth & each other.
👋 Hello, friends. I have been procrastinating with writing this post, mainly because it hurts my ‘meow meow,’ which is why I need to discuss it, I suppose. About a month ago, whilst suffering through COVID for the first time, I posted a video on threads by a comical content creator discussing the new Snow White. When I was ill it was nearly impossible to think clearly & communicate what I was thinking, yet everyone was super stoked to attack me & tell me I was a racist for stating my opinion.
I’ll begin with a funny that is in line with recent posts.
Now, to explain why the words people tossed my way hurt me so much, I will need to give you a full explanation of my life. I’m old – so I’ll attempt to do it quickly, but I cannot guarantee anything. My name is Cecelia – which means “blind”. Since learning what my name meant (age 23), I have always thought that in my life it meant color blindness in regard to race.
👉 If you have made it this far, thank you. I’m not entirely certain if this issue was exponentially hurtful due to my illness or if it would hurt just as much now; I think it might be the latter, unfortunately. It hurts my heart to know that there was someone who thought I was a racist because I had a harsh opinion of the color washing, ‘nouveau-feminism’, & “other” washing of the new Snow White. Because this is such a long post, I am going to post that beauty separately. (Also, I have not finished it. Honestly, it may take the weekend).
Talk Soon,
Cecelia ✌🏻🌊☕️
Post Script: I took a few photos that day – when many people called me a racist and many other things. Many lessons learned that day, friends.
What was the hardest personal goal you’ve set for yourself?
—Questioner
Being healthy.
Not much more to it than the food that we have in this country makes it increasingly difficult to actually be healthy. Never mind losing weight, which is difficult enough, being able to maintain a healthy lifestyle is becoming more & more difficult due to finances. I look forward to the day when I can afford healthy food & have the time to spend active & outdoors. ✌🏻🌊☕️
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