Yungblud & Palaye Royale

This concert snuck up on us. Honestly I thought it would be postponed, as all of the concerts we have tickets to have been. But no! Indianapolis is awesome, requiring a vax card or clean COVID test, as well as masks. It was also a credit only venue, which I understand is to keep them safe from theft, but it also cuts down on germs spread by paper & coin money. “Money serves as a fomite, an inanimate vehicle by which pathogens can be spread,” per Charles Bailey, MD, medical director for infection prevention at Providence St. Joseph Health [INSIDER, Larson, 2021]. So, with all of that in mind we got our boosters and set off to Indy! Late.

Supa-fast Pic➡️

We be late, yo! Well, it wouldn’t be us if we were not on Rome-time. For whatever reason she was not excited until we were nearly there, which is why we were late. I hate being late. I was raised on Lombardi time: 5 min early was on time, on time was late, and late was dead. My daughter, however, has been early just once in her life… the day she was born.

Once we were inside things were unlike any other concert I have been to (obviously 2020 has changed much). After being searched we were sent to coat check; hell, I didn’t even have to hide anything, which was crazy. (I took cannabis & edibles in with me just in case of extreme pain). Coat check was in the basement… many stairs. I was given a cute clear bag to put my belongings in and they took my purse. Then there were the stairs…up this time. Rome had fire under her ass because we could hear Palaye Royale, but her cardio is severely lacking. We got there just in time to see her favorite Palaye Royale song, “Mr. Doctor Man”, so she was essentially happy. We initially got the tickets to see them! The fact that we missed HALF of their show is totally on Rome and she knows it; though her response was, ”I’ll see them again.”

Palaye Royale

Picture quality was not the best because we were still in the back of the theatre. 🙄oh, I have a thing for bass players, thus the blonde😏.

Did I mention that we got General Admission tickets? I am old, people; old and disabled and full of fibromyalgia. But my babygirl said she wanted to go to this concert and I said I would make it happen. Once there I asked if she wanted to go closer, the glint in her eyes as she said, ”yeah” was exceedingly bright. I took her hand and we went serpentine through the crowd until I could no longer go forward without force. Normally I would have a large man with me if I am in General Admission as I am but 5’4”, however this time I had to be ”the man” for my Rome. Lucky for us it is 2022 and people are still figuring out how to be near each other after COVID.

Picture quality does get better… I promise.

We spoke with the people around us, meeting a father and daughter that I originally mistook for a couple. Actually, it goes back a bit further…

Is that a child?

Okay, so there was a five-year-old kid in the pit, IN THE PIT, which freaked me out. He had a big sign saying it was his birthday; but he was FIVE and on the shoulders of someone in the mosh pit. To the right ➡️ you can see a picture of a person taking a picture of the boy (I was not the only person to think that was ODD). [more in the post script]

Anyway, so we were doing our serpentine thing and we had to pause for a minute behind the father and daughter. He was holding a coat, but he was cradling it like a baby. Having just seen the 5-yr-old with the sign, my brain thought he might have an actual baby, so I had to check. I tapped on the coat, also getting his attention, satisfying myself it was just a coat. I then had to explain; luckily he understood and didn’t think I was weird. Later we discovered that it was in fact his daughter’s birthday as well and I mentioned astrological signs, not knowing the cutoff between Aquarius and Pisces. She was a Pisces and he was an Aquarius having just celebrated his birthday. I then said they must have an emotional relationship; Ha ha, they weren’t a couple, but yes, it was an emotional relationship. (astrology does get a lot right)

Intermission

(That is the Aquarius Dad in the background)

Whoa tangent, yeah? Sorry… so after PR there was a lull, in which some people left and many others moved forward. Rome read her fan fiction and I played a game on my phone (whatever did we do before mobile phones?).

Big. Red. Lips.

Then came the chants, ”Yungblud! Yungblud! Yungblud!” The lights went out and his big, red lips came on the screen. That British accent, with his Yorkshire bleeding through… JUST LOVE IT! [This is where I tell you that I suffer from severe ’fernweh’ for Great Britain.] Anyhow, once he came out he EXPLODED with energy, which I think we expected. I am too curious as to how he can have toured this much and yet he remains flabbergasted by the love his fans show. The looks on his face are outstanding; the wonder and amazement, downright bemusement with the fact that those at his concerts know all of the words to his songs.

Rome enjoyed her first mosh pit. I did not prepare her adequately, I did give her a bit of advice but wanted her to experience it organically. With Yungblud telling the pit to go ”Wider” – I told Rome to use her elbows and forearms. (I neglected the legs – always remember to begin with a strong foundation! Seriously, Cecelia, wtf.) Anyhow, she loved it. She came back all giggly and happy.

There was such an amazing VIBE at that concert; the love and acceptance was intense. Rome’s eyes were alight at every new outfit that she loved, makeup she admired, or hair that she wanted. Living in Casey, it is easy for her to slip into that thought that there isn’t anyone else like her… whereas I agree that my babygirl is unique, that doesn’t mean that we cannot find our ‘people’ somewhere. We will find those people nearby at some point, though we may have to move to a bigger city.

Yungblud performs with his whole body.

Halfway through his set he changed out of the leather pants into…

A leather skirt.

Leather is hot. I do not know how performers can wear it during concerts, especially with stage lights. Stage lights are damned HOT. Jumping around as much as he does, I suppose that is why he changed… though it may just be because HE ROCKED IT!

Is there any life on Mars?

Is There Any Life On Mars?

Yeaaahhhh eeee yeaaahhhhh. I love this song and I absolutely loved the hundreds singing together, and so did Yungblud. We sang together a few times; I think he loves hearing his fans sing nearly as much as singing himself.

New Album?

oh yes! Here he is discussing when he will be returning to the US, specifically the midwest, and a NEW ALBUM within the year. Woot!

Encore!

Ohhhhh baby. I love encores. He sent one of his friends out with a big sign asking, ”Want More?” It was just like a prize fight between bouts; I have pics of the person, just not hoisting the sign. Nevertheless, the encore was AWESOME. Yungblud performed his encore of three(?) songs with energy few other artists can match at the beginning of their shows.

I lost Rome for a bit there at the end and found her again near the merchandise tables. I met her with water, we were both dying of dehydration, and then we got in line. Yungblud has great merch; we ended up getting a hoodie and a long sleeve top. Then we went over to Palaye Royale’s side and had a difficult time deciding. I love the shirt we got and then there was the makeup palette; a gorgeous palette, inside and out, signed by the band, which we will probably never use. 😔 Worth it.

Meeting us outside? Fans… and Yungblud. He was out front talking with his fans, signing merch, taking selfies, the whole nine. This is where my respect comes in tenfold. The kids who are attracted to his music (a lot of the time) are the ignored, the strange, the outsiders. Having someone, a celebrity no less, stay after the show – saying that ”you are worth my time”, that deserves R E S P E C T.

Waiting outside the venue, Yungblud met with his fans for over an hour.

El fin.

What a night! Such a great show, SO MUCH FUN! The venue was cool, the show was amazing, the people were loving and kind, and it was all just a 3-hour round trip away from home. Exhausting, but worth every pain that followed.

Hope you enjoyed it too!

~Čėçēłįa💕

Post Script:

Just wanted to add a little 🔥 to what I said earlier. I believe in taking kids to concerts; I have been taking mine since she was literally in my belly. However when discussing safety, aside from the headphones protecting his hearing, that child was IN THE MOSH PIT, a place that a 5-yr-old should NOT be. I am extremely thankful that Yungblud did not acknowledge him, perhaps his idiot parents will get the hint. 😒

Monday blech. 2.28.22

This is the last day of palindrome week(s); 😔 it has been fun for us nerdy folk.

Chicago Reflection by: Donald Schwartz

Hello! I finally have all of my meds at the same time, it is nice. For those of us that suffer from chronic pain, missing just one medication (even if it is something as benign as cholesterol meds) can seriously affect our bodies. Finding the right balance is difficult, to say the least, and being at the mercy of insurance companies is one of the worst situations in the world. 🐮Moooooving on!🐄

PAIN JOURNAL ENTRY – [Waking Pain Level] 4. [Current Pain Level] 3. [Stretches] Not yet, still working on my first cup of coffee. [Sleep] Woke up around 3something, stayed up for a couple hours, then slept in until 9am. My average sleep time last week was 4 hours and 36 minutes a night. nice

Well, I need to work on a post that is for something other than this pain journal!

Talk Soon, Čėçēłįå

Weekend 2.26.22-2.27.22

[I like the palindrome week/month thing; it is nice & nerdy.] I am tired, friends. This month has been busy and full of excitement and pain; the latter being totally worth it. We are nearing the third month of this new year, which is wild in and of itself, yet I must take stock of my resolutions. Not sure if you worry about such, the ”New Year’s Resolution” is a social convention most people make but do not follow through with. Well, it has always been my favorite holiday, mainly because my Meemaw’s birthday is the first of January, but also because of the renewal.

The Souls of Leaves by: Tara Turner

I always forget how to get the same colors for each block, my mind is so tired, sheesh. [Monday] Well, let us take stock of those resolutions:

I resolved to ”adult” more. ✅ I resolved to finalize and implement a budget complete with weekly menus/shopping lists. (In progress, nearly done). I resolved to focus on my morning routine, stretches, etc., in order to get back to good on my physical therapy. ✅ I resolved to up my parenting game to just below ”Karenēse” in order to prepare Rome for college. ✅

Well, I guess I have done okay so far, how about you? If you made New Year’s Resolutions, how are they going? Wish you all the best… Talk Soon. Čėçēłįå

Friday 25FEB22

Woke at 7am with severe pain in my left shoulder, it still hurts to move around three hours later. I have been utilizing the topicals and stretching quite a bit this morning. I am blazing resin half the time, which is just gross but one does as one must in these trying financial times. What a day. I want to ask all my trumplican friends/family what they think of Mr. Putin now; he is such good buddies with trump and all. With Russia’s invasion into Ukraine fuel prices will further sky rocket causing inflation to continue to increase. Why am I writing this in my ’pain journal’? Well, this causes me pain.

Stress literally makes us CRACK. photo by: Animated Healthcare Ltd.

Stress is such a large part of chronic pain. There is a nasty cycle we get into with stress, anxiety, and emotional issues that affect our physical bodies. We try to deal with solely the physical, solely the emotional, solely the psychological, or solely the spiritual. I am certain you can see the word that is the problem in the previous sentence: Solely. Time and again we tend to try to fix ourselves by focusing on just one part of the whole; our doctors fail so oft in that way as well.

As for me, I am focusing on my morning routine: stretching, meditation and prayer, some part of my John Bible study, and a lot of coffee. I am building my physical therapy routine back up, not yet back to half of where I was before my recent surgeries. I hate to admit it but schedules, lists, and calendars help reduce our stress. Allocating our time and resources in and of itself is stressful, however once we delegate our stress goes down. Lists help us see what we have accomplished, reducing our stress further. And of course a solid schedule is incredibly helpful; when we know what is expected we are less anxious.

Yeah, my pain level is a 6 today, which is better than where it was when I woke up. I hope Friday has you in a much better place than I; blessings to you and your family! Talk Soon, Čėçēłįå

Between Life And Death by: Mario Sanchez Nevado

Thursday 24FEB22

It could be the weather (very rainy day) or that my Rome is not here… not sure why but I just feel as though I am walking through heavy air. I have not done all of my stretches, even though I know I will feel better if I do. I am nearly out of cannabis, which is a money issue, but whatever, end of the month. My back hurts, and my neck remains a painful joke since the concert; it doesn’t matter what I do, my neck hurts mad crazy. As you can see, my words are Shakespearian! I am having trouble thinking further than lightnning pain in my face oh my gosh no stop please f@#%! ⏸

Apologies for that last sentence – had some PAIN in my FACE.

The Trigeminal Neuralgia is debilitating. I plan to post solely about that at some point, but it can wait. Talk soon, Čėçēłįå

Wednesday 2.23.22

Was reminded yesterday that all of the dates for the rest of the month are palindromes; this month is too fun (no pun intended). It is currently very early in the morning. I did not sleep well. I did get my meds yesterday, which was wonderful. My amazing mother was kind enough to get them for me. It still takes 24-36 hours before my body and mind are back to normal after a forced withdrawal. (This was an insurance issue… I wish they understood exactly what their ”issues” cause.) My pain level is still about a 5, but I think that will go down after I stretch and get moving.

I am positive that my body is still recovering from our trip to Indianapolis on Sunday. General Admission, at my age, is not a smart idea. However, I will say that at this particular venue GA was not completely insane. There were a great deal of those just standing as opposed to those in the mosh pit or the super excited fans that were jumping as much as Yungblud wanted us to. (That was never going to happen.) No matter how much this hurts, it was totally worth it to see my babygirl among our people. The smile on her face after she exited the mosh pit… ah, memories.

I hope you have a great ’hump’ day! Happy Wednesday and all that. Talk Soon, Čėçēłįå

Twosday 2.22.22

Yesterday simply did not exist. Moving on. I plan to stretch more today, however I am suffering through the remnants of a concert on ZERO pain medication; you’re lucky I am typing at all. My pain level is about a 9.7 thanks in large part to nerve medication and cannabis tempering the overall waves of agony. Sleep? Well, yes I did. I have been getting 4-5 hour increments of sleep every once in a while, no rest though, oh how I adore withdrawal.

How can one describe withdrawal from an opiate? I have been listening to a great podcast with a pair of detectives from Oregon. They have often said that those they arrest for heroin related crimes most often beg not to be arrested solely due to withdrawal. Withdrawal is fearsome to the point that they will pray and plead with them so savagely they will literally do ANYTHING to not be put in a cell to go through the muscle-ripping, heart-pounding, sweat-inducing, mind-crippling horror that is withdrawal. I understand that horror only too dearly; before cannabis was legal, it was the absolute worst hell I entered in my life.

Heroin addicts usually take about 500% of what I take on the daily. I cannot fathom the withdrawal they go through, knowing what I have experienced. On that note, I will go and get more coffee… Talk soon, Čėçēłįå

Woman 3 is a piece of digital artwork by Define Studio which was uploaded on April 30th, 2018.

I have been searching for a picture, photo, or piece of art that shows what withdrawal feels like. At first I found mostly pictures like…

And do not get me wrong, this is an accurate picture of a person not feeling well, but it is not what I was looking for at all. This in no way shows you what withdrawal feels like. So I went on to art, because there is often more truth in art than anywhere else and surrealist art even more so.

The above is an accurate depiction of how I have felt many times; and below, my body. Ohhhh, my body.

André Masson – Le Spectre de Van Gogh, 1961

This is 100% accurate.

I discovered an image that stuck with me, something that helps explain what it feels like to those that have never experienced anything like it.

The above image is perfect to describe what withdrawal feels like to me. I saw it and thought, ”whoa, most people have at least tried this toy in the store, right?” So, that feeling, all the little jabs at your finger, or your face, (or whatever you put in the toy,) those little jabs are the cellular parts of your body. Think of those little jabs as pain pricks; but not just pain, the feeling of being undone. As you push your hands into the toy and the needles fall against your fingers… that is the feeling of the cells of your body coming apart one by one by one. And those little pin pricks of pain? Multiply what you’re feeling by nearly 1000, that may come close to the smallest idea of what the hell that is withdrawal feels like to me.

Apologies for the delve into the dirty of chronic pain. I know most people don’t understand opiates, opiate addiction, the opioid crisis, or anything to do with it unless it affects them in their personal life. Even then, some people choose to remain ignorant of the truth, believing what either Big Pharma tells them, or their “news-station”; oblivious and unwilling to research into anything to find the truth. My pain meds were finally refilled (thanks insurance for NOT UNDERSTANDING YOUR MEDICATIONS AT ALL), hmph hm. Sorry. Um, more on that later.

Hope you’re having a good day. 🤟🏼🐘💕

Post Script: Found another one. This is about perfect.

Weekend

My brain is mush at the moment. We went to a concert last night, of which I look forward to telling you all about, but not now. Just wanted to put in that I neglected to refill my main pain medication (like a boss) and am suffering the consequences. Talk soon. Čėçēłįå

At the End of the Night

What a ńįght! I tell you, I have been to many (MANY) concerts in my life and this was exceptional. Number one reason it was amazing? The ęńêrgÿ was simply remarkable. ”Love is why we’re here”, Yungblud explained the meaning behind his tour and I believe the true meaning of the ęńêrgÿ he was feeling from the crowd. You could see it in his expressions, he couldn’t believe the love he was getting from the very beginning.

[I will be editing and updating this throughout the next few days. I will publish the full product by the end of the week.]

Friday

Stretches: No Sleep: Average Pain Level: 5

Lazy. That is just about every which way of it today. My body hurts, my mind is tired, and I am emotionally spent from months of sorrow. Nope… not today, sorry.

Talk Soon, Čėçēłįå

Thursday

Good morning! I hope this finds you well. Quick pain journal entry and then on to a recap of yesterday… I did my stretches and darn it if I don’t feel about 87% better than when I woke up. I did get a good TWELVE HOURS of sleep after the unanticipated trip to Chicago yesterday and our COVID-19 booster shots the day before, both of which caused my body to feel poorly in different ways. The booster hasn’t been bad, tbh; my arm hurts, I have had a head ache, and my lungs have been cloudy.

So, Chicago: My Ma is a truck driver and had been in a hotel for five days due to repairs to her truck. Things changed, as they do, and it is going to take much longer than predicted so she asked me to pick her up and bring her home. [Rome would have come with, but she had a friend in need, so I dropped her off on the way.] We left early (ugh); we actually got out of the house by 7am Rome-time (7:15am-Reality). There was even time to get coffee, which was nice.

I thoroughly enjoyed the drive because I could listen to my book on the way; (Rome usually has radio controls). I was a good girl and stopped to stretch like I am supposed to (yay, me). I made it to the hotel a half hour before checkout, which was much faster than my maps app had predicted 😎. My Ma and I went to a great BBQ place called the Hoppy Pig. I highly recommend it as my mouth is watering just typing this. I played a 60s playlist for the ride home; my Ma prefers country, and I do not, but we both agree on 60s-70s music.

It seemed to take forever to get on our way as we stopped for a few different things, but once we were on our way time went by as it does. We stopped to see Rome and give her my Hoppy Pig leftovers. I was very happy to get home. My body needed sleep more than anything. I took my medication an hour early, smoked more than I usually do, took a gummy, and took an extra muscle relaxer; twelve hours later I awoke feeling pretty good, considering.

Talk Soon, Čėçēłįå

Wednesday: Midweek trip to Chi-town

I woke up this morning at 5am and did not do all of my stretches. It took a full pot of coffee before I was even close to awake and we had to leave by 7am. I dropped Rome off at a friend’s house and I went off to Chicago. I will talk more about that tomorrow, because we just got back and my body is screaming at me.

Talk Soon, Çėčēłįå

Tuesday

Busy day. I did not do my stretches this morning. I woke in the middle of the night and therefore slept in a bit. Rome & I got our COVID boosters today; I have a headache and Rome said her chest was hurting a bit. I am hoping that this little half dose will do less than half the damage the last one did. I am glad we got them, though; happy to have the vax card to show at concerts and whatnot.

One side effect I did not think of was my face. I got the booster in my right arm and for the rest of the day my face was on -and -off again exploding. The right side of my face has been at a steady pain factor of 5 with electric lightning shocks of 7’s every now and then. My doctor and I believe that my trigeminal neuralgia (TN) was caused by a rogue ear infection. I hope that this will not exacerbate the TN in any way. I also saw my PCP today – she is doubling the milligrams for the TN medication, something that makes me very happy.

We are headed to Chicago in the morning, to pick my Ma up and bring her home for a bit. Good times.

Talk Soon, Čėçēłįá🧚🏻

Monday

Woke up feeling relatively okay, considering Rome & I stayed up quite late enjoying the halftime show again and again. I have done my morning stretches, listening to my current book of choice. I have given Rome her new med and her old med (we are transitioning this week) and have taken my own as well. The day is going well thus far (noon-15).

Photo by Karolina Grabowska on Pexels.com

My lower back already hurts, but not too bad, about a 4. I am staying ahead of the pain with stretching and cannabis; I recently acquired three awesome topicals of the latter. I will update later if anything changes.

Talk Soon, Çėčēłîá

All my plans… ((explosion))!

Everything that I said before today about this page, please ignore it.

We plan. God laughs.”

Jewish Proverb

Today is Super Bowl LVI. My excitement is tempered by the blanket of grief that has laid over my home for months. It is a lighter blanket now than it was in November, but it remains. I want to talk about Matt Stafford and Joe Burrow and how awesome the game should be today, but I need to get you all caught up so you can understand what this is about to become.

A week before my birthday (the first week of November), we hit a deer while driving on the interstate. Thankfully I was able to slow down, had I hit that buck going 70mph I doubt I would be typing this. However, he did murder my Jeep, Gloryah. This was a traumatic event for my daughter, but it was only a portend of the very near future. We got the call on my birthday that her best friend had been in a car accident. Jaime died two days later.

During this time I was dealing with a new diagnosis of trigeminal neuralgia, which is the most painful thing I have ever experienced in my life. The first medication my neurologist prescribed sent my brain into a new place that it did not understand. Suddenly focus, memory, vocabulary, everything was messed up in some way. I was completely incapable of being, well, me. Thankfully I did not take that medication for very long.

The last half of November and the first half of December were spent in our rooms. Grief is odd. It comes in waves so that sometimes you feel okay where you can breathe, which is great, but then you feel the flood of emotion – whether it be sadness, anger, or whatever. It knocks you down and you cannot breathe; you do all you can to just make it day to day to day to day to day. I don’t mind admitting that I failed as a parent in December, up until when we went to Oklahoma.

We got home from Oklahoma on the 20th of January, following yet another death in our family. Okay, so I am going to write in this every day, even if it is just a line or two. I need to keep track of my pain… among other things. Above is a sort of prelude, details to follow.

Talk soon, Cecelia🧚🏻